sometimes i feel so very lost in this place. i can't seem to remember who i am... or who i was. who do i want to be? there is pressure to pursue my dreams. and pressure to take things slowly and worry less and sleep more. there is pressure to move up in the world... or not. pressure to be healthier and stronger. pressure to have children now, but not too soon, but now. pressure to clean the house and care for the dog and cook the meals and... oh yeah, work full-time and pay the bills and keep track of the finances. pressure to communicate more or better or whatever. i don't understand. pressure to have hobbies and actually participate in those hobbies. pressure to make new friends but don't forget old friends. pressure to visit multiple people if ever i should earn a vacation. excuse me, but driving around the country visiting people all week doesn't seem like much of a vacation to me. mostly i just want to get away. far away. i don't want to
feel lost. i want to
be lost.
but what would it fix to be lost? eventually we all have to come home again and figure out who we are and what the heck we're going to do next. darn it.
------------------------------
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
- Robert Frost, "Cluster of Faith," 1962
We are in the same boat. I feel like many people out there are. We're all searching for this perfect balance to make us and our lives feel whole. Sadly, most of that pressure comes from within, so until we learn what it is that we need to learn, we'll continue to feel the pressure.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is, take deep breaths and try to focus on what essentially makes you happy. Not what everyone else wants from you or what society dictates, but what is going to fulfill YOU. I'm working on that too.....
Wow. I can so relate to this, and all the pressures out there (real, and imagined). I'm a first child, and I think perhaps we feel them the keenest. Expectations.- Anyway, so nice to stumble across your blog today. I hope your Tuesday is a good one. Where you can be free!
ReplyDeleteI hate feeling lost! Which is almost everyday! I smile through it but my mind races with so many thoughts! I also have lots of sleepless nights!
ReplyDeleteBut so is life and we must learn to take deep breaths and go day by day and enjoy life, because it's too short! Money will come and go and so will problems! I believe that as long we have health, loved ones, friends and life everything will always be ok!
Lots of hugs and kisses!!
P.S. I awarded you an award on my blog!
xoxo
I was lost once and got more lost trying to find my way. Admittedly the route I took was bad, very bad.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't know where you are or where you're going you need to stop. Just stop.
Look around.
Take stock in the quiet, then continue with what it is you find or decide.
It sounds like you're trying to live up to other's expectations.
That's no good. They'll be happy, you won't be. In my experience even if you meet the others expectations, they still won't be happy and you'll be even more miserable.
That's simply my opinion. The opinion of a complete stranger - heed as much or as little of it as pleases you.